Do You Really Say What You Mean?
If I asked you to think of your commitments as promises, does that change the way you look at your decision making? We live in a world where people don’t keep their word, or stay committed to their decisions. Many just don’t “show up”.
Several years ago when I began to run meetup events I had done my research and been told by someone successful in the meetup community that “no shows” were the norm. I didn’t believe them. But over the years it has happened over and over. People make commitments and then don’t follow through on their word. It didn’t make much sense to me, but time and again I would plan an event, with what seemed like enough participants registered, only to find many not show up.
Every time you make a decision it is an opportunity to keep a promise; to build trust with yourself and others.
I have a friend who is chronically “over committed”. She regularly agrees to one, two, sometimes even three things in one evening. Of course she can’t attend them all, so she has to choose, and cancel the others, always at the last minute. I know her heart is in the right place … I know she wishes she could be in three places at one time. So, although infuriated by this, I’ve now changed my expectation if we make plans. I don’t take it personally, and I try to have a Plan B.
People over commit. They don’t keep their word. They sign up or agree to things when it’s only a maybe. Of course, there will always be times when we need to change our mind and this is okay. If the change only involves you, be gentle with yourself. When it involves others, connect with them quickly, make a new agreement, or decide a new course of action. Over time you will become less judgmental, and more loving to yourself.
This week: Say what you mean, mean what you say. It’s a cornerstone of living authentically. Why live authentically? Because it’s one of the pathways to true happiness.
Begin to notice what you say yes to.
Say “I promise” and notice what happens!
Trust me, I can promise you … it works!
Written by: Gail Scott, Relationship Expert and Professional Speaker