Parents, You Need This Discipline Tip!
We all know how important it is to keep a promise you have made to a child. When you do not keep your word they eventually learn not to trust what you say. I’m sure you all think you do your best to keep your promises, but I bet there are many times you don’t and you aren’t even aware of it.
These are the times when you say to your child, ‘If you do that again you will go to your room’, or, ‘If you do not clean up your room we will not got to the park later’. We threaten our child with consequences but then so often we do not implement those consequences when our child’s behaviour doesn’t change. And why would their behaviour change when they know that you will not ‘keep your word’? They soon learn what they can and can’t get away with. DO NOT threaten a consequence unless you know you are capable of carrying it out. In the heat of the moment, consider trying to be less re-active and pause to think for a second. Imagine a giant stop light if you need a visual cue.
Here’s some language and a delivery style you can use in an everyday situation: You and your child are in a dispute over something you’ve asked him to do. STOP asking him and tell him in a firm but kind voice, ‘Clean up these cars now, put them away in their container and then we will have time to ………….’ giving him a positive consequence. If your child still refuses to do as he’s been asked, tell him what the consequence will be, ‘If these cars are not put away in 10 minutes we will not have time to……….’, giving him a negative consequence, (one you know you can carry through!).
The important thing is to be consistent with keeping your word so that your child will quickly learn that there really will be consequences, good, as well as not so good.
Parents, feel free to connect with me in the comments section, I will do my best to answer any of your parenting concerns, Juliet.
Written by: Juliet McDonald, ECE