Tantric Sex 101

Tantra, or sacred sexuality, is a 5,000 year old tradition that encourages us to make a mindful connection to each other. It’s an awakening to a deeper relationship with ourselves and our partner. Here’s the roadmap:

Setting the atmosphere will help, so lower the lights and grab some candles (always a flattering lighting scenario!), maybe find some cushions and a comfy blanket to sit on. The idea is to make this easy to do, and to begin to get used to the sensation of what’s going on more deliberately.

First, slow down. Make a decision to stop moving and sit together quietly facing each other. Ensure you won’t be disturbed and start with 5 minutes (set a timer). As you get more comfortable you can increase the time. Look into each other’s eyes with no place to go but in. Do not talk. You may giggle together to begin with – this is natural. You don’t normally sit and gaze into someone’s eyes and it can be a little uncomfortable to begin with. You are building a sacred space together.


Start the practice with your clothes on and get curious about how you are feeling. What is being stirred in you through the focus of your partner gazing into your eyes? Stay with it and allow whatever feelings to come up. If you find yourselves crying, or laughing, that’s fine. Let it be. Being still can be profoundly healing.

Second, focus on your breathing. As you get comfortable you will notice that your breathing becomes synchronized. As you breathe in, notice your partner breathe out. You are exchanging energy and getting into a rhythm. Later, as you have sex, notice if this breathing rhythm appears naturally.

Third, forget about the fact that he forgot your anniversary and deliberately focus on all the things you love about the person sitting across from you. Being thankful is a choice and it opens the doorway to love and great sex!

As you touch your partner, and are being touched, become more sensitive to the sensations that you feel. What are you hearing, seeing, feeling, smelling and tasting? Deepen your experience by noticing what your body is telling you.

Tantric Sex is a deliberate process that helps us to be in the moment, and allows the romance and connection to return organically. What could be better than that? Have fun and remember, slow down, take a breath and be still. Namaste.

Written by: Gail Scott, Professional Speaker, Relationship and Tantra Expert


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